Over the years, I have taught people that the quality of life they are able to live will depend—in large measure—on how they talk to themselves. For example, think of the kinds of questions we ask ourselves during challenging times. Many of us have, at some time during our lives, asked, “Why Me?” How many of us have had the insight to counter that question with, “Why not me?”—realizing we are no more “special” than any of our fellow beings who all struggle with life’s challenges. Some have learned to go even further with their questions by asking such things as, “What can I learn from this situation to improve my life—and perhaps help others who walk a similar path?”
Years ago, I came across a question that had a profound effect on my life. I wish I could remember where I heard or read it, so I could give proper credit. Although I cannot remember the source of the question, I can remember the context in which it was given. It had to do with our interactions with others and determining how to appropriately respond in “any” situation. In fact, the source claimed that if we could muster the courage to ask this question and then have the courage to listen to the answer from our hearts, we could always choose an appropriate response in our interactions with each other. Well, here is that simple question: “What would love do?”
Having turned to this question countless times over the years, I’d like to share some observations with you. First, whenever I have the courage to ask this question, it causes me to pause both cognitively and emotionally. This always seems to create a quiet and peaceful space. Second, I have found that within that space my simple question is always answered quickly and with incredible clarity. I never have any doubt “what love would do.” I must admit, that sometimes the answers that appear seem simplistic, unlikely to work, or even counter to what my intellect would have suggested, but when I implement the answers, things usually work out.
Historical figures such as Dr. King and Mother Teresa offer us examples of what happens when people choose to come from a place of love. However, we need not look to famous people for our examples, because we have all known and interacted with people who come from a place of love. Such a person was my grandmother. I can honestly say that I never heard her say an unkind word about any person. I distinctly remember one family gathering where some around the table were talking negatively about a person we all knew. My grandmother, working at her stove, quietly moved toward the table and shared a positive experience she had enjoyed with that person. The gossip ceased and everyone sensed her powerful—yet loving—rebuke.
Next time you are faced with a challenging human-relations situation, I encourage you to ask yourself, “What would love do?” I am confident that you will receive the answer you truly seek.