An exasperated person once asked their friend, “Who do you think you are?” Their friend replied, “I wish I knew.” If you’ve ever felt like that person’s friend—like you weren’t really sure of who you were—you’re not alone. In fact, some people spend much of their lives trying to “find” themselves.
When a child enters this world, they come as a truly unique person with a personality, latent abilities, etc. Anyone who has been a parent can tell you that each of their children are unique, and that they recognized each child’s uniqueness at a very young age. Mothers often tell of having known about that uniqueness while their child was still in the womb. Furthermore, parents tell us how their young children gravitated towards certain subjects and how they seemed to possess innate talent in some area—or areas!
When we were young children, you and I began to notice the same phenomenon our parents were noticing—our uniqueness. As we started interacting with others, we quickly became aware of our differences—both in terms of our personalities and what areas of interest we were drawn to. I can still recall the incredible joy I felt during my early years in school when I was formally taught diverse and interesting subjects by my teachers. And it didn’t take long before I started to notice that my classmates and I seemed to have differing levels of both interest and aptitude in the various subjects we were being taught. My favorite subjects were reading, art, science, and music. Today, in my 60s, I find it fascinating that those four subjects became lifelong passions for me.
As the years went by, my “education” continued—not just at school, but through my participation in other societal organizations such as church, scouting, sports, business, etc. Honestly, some of what I was taught was an affront to my soul. I learned that certain personality traits—sometimes dependent on your gender—were more desirable for “success” in life. I was told that some subjects were more “appropriate” for one gender or the other. (As a male piano player, I was given a “pass,” because I was also good at sports.) Certain professions were touted as being more desirable. “You should be a…” As I transitioned from university to the working world, some tried to teach me that appearance is everything—that the end justifies the means—and that, in the end, “it’s just business.”
“An artist has to paint. A singer has to sing. A…” Deep inside, every human being longs to be a genuine and full expression of who they really are.
For 30 years in my work as a career and life coach, it has been a privilege to help people peel away false personas they were both encouraged and conditioned to create for themselves in order to “succeed.” I have encouraged people to rediscover their unique selves by listening to the longings of their hearts—to follow their dreams and shine their personal greatness brightly into the world! “Mark, you lift others up—that is your gift.” -J. G.